I was so shocked. I felt cheated. I felt disappointed. How could I risk my life, my academics, and my attention for a girl, only to receive disappointment in return? At that moment, my only fear was that I wouldn’t collapse again like I did that morning at the library.
“Priscy… ermm… ermm… are you sure you want me to do this? I don’t even know this senior you’re so much in love with. So how will I be able to give him the letter?” I asked, my voice trembling.
I waited for a response, but surprisingly, she burst into laughter. Uncontrollable, loud laughter. I didn’t know why she was laughing so hard. I wished she’d stop and explain, but she couldn’t even control herself.
Did I say something funny? If it was that funny, how come I couldn’t laugh? Oh gosh.
Finally, after what felt like forever, she caught her breath and spoke.
“Oh, I’m sorry KD. I forgot to go over the letter, and I guess I’ve committed some dangerous grammatical mistakes too. Please read over it, make the necessary corrections before you send it to him. I know you’re a Literature student, so when it comes to the English language, you’re the expert any Science girl runs to,” she said—and then laughed again.
She was trying to make me laugh. But I couldn’t. Not even a fake smile.
What does she take me for? A stone? A tree? A dog? Even dogs have feelings, how much more a human being like me?
I had even forgotten about the letter I’d written for her. I folded it tightly and pushed it into my shirt pocket. I didn’t want to display my disappointment to her, but I could feel it leaking out of me like a bad secret. My face betrayed me. She must have seen it, but she pretended not to.
“I’m going to the boarding house to rest for a while. I’m feeling dizzy,” I lied. She nodded, probably believing me—or maybe just not wanting me to collapse a second time that day.
I turned to leave. The letter for her was still in my pocket. Was it still worth giving? After she’d just handed me one for a senior?
I decided to give it anyway. “There’s no harm in trying,” they say. I dipped my hand into my back pocket and pulled it out gently. I turned to look for her. But Priscy was nowhere to be found. It was as if she had snapped her fingers and vanished into thin air.
I decided to search for her.
On my way, I saw Jake with a Holy Bible tucked under his arm, talking to a girl. His posture told me everything—he was preaching, trying to win her over to his prayer group. I didn’t want to interrupt, so I walked on, still scanning for my Priscy.
And even with all her open displays of undying love for that senior, I still loved her. I didn’t know why. I didn’t know why her actions kept pushing me away, but something deep inside kept pulling me back. Was this love—or was it foolishness?
I was still pondering when I saw her approaching.
My heart started beating faster. My lips went dry. My hands refused to move. My eyelids forgot how to blink. I stood there like a stooge, frozen. She looked like an angel walking towards me.
She got to where I stood and smiled. “KD, are you done reading and editing my letter so soon? Awwww, you’re really a good brother.”
A good brother?
So all this while Priscy had seen me as her brother?
That blow cut deeper than the cane of the headmaster.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, handed her my letter silently, and turned away. My feet carried me back to the dormitory, but my heart stayed behind with her.
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