Not This Time, Love Pt 18

When I finished the headmaster’s office, an idea hit me like a brick: find someone I could love here and not starve waiting for Lucy. Have you ever been in a crowd and felt alone? Have you loved someone so much you thought you’d gone mad? That was me. I loved Lucy, but the nameless post office girl was stealing my breath. She filled my thoughts, body, and spirit. The fire in my chest burned hotter by the hour. How long could I keep fasting for a love that was thousands of miles away? I had to move on. I had to pursue the nameless post office girl. I had to win her heart.

I thought up a plan—one that would let me chase this new crush without letting Lucy know. Unfair? Maybe. But you don’t put all your eggs in one basket when the stakes are this high. I decided to get closer to the nameless post office girl by writing her a letter. I would be smart about it.

One Sunday afternoon, the visiting day when I knew my mum would not come, I sat alone in a classroom with a sheet of paper and a pen and wrote fast.

Hi sweetie,

I have admired you from afar for so long. I tried to suppress my feelings, but I have given up. Every time I see you I am mesmerized. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you by the roadside selling with your grandmother. I thought I had lost you, yet you kept appearing in my dreams. When I came to school and saw you here, I knew destiny had brought us together. Sweetie, can you do me a favour? Please don’t look for another lover. You have already found one. Take care of yourself.

Yours truly,

Secret Admirer

I finished the letter quickly because I wanted to hide it in my chop box before anyone could find it. Then came the problem: how to get it to her. Walk up and hand it to her? No. She would know it was me, and that would ruin the suspense. Slip it under her desk? Risky—someone else might find it first. I didn’t want to involve a third party. I wanted the whole thing to be secret.

When Monday came I still wasn’t sure which move was smartest, but slipping the note under her desk looked better than the rest. So I planned to get to her classroom early and leave it there. I arrived and found the room empty, the desks in disarray. That made the idea too risky, so I slipped the letter back into my pocket and walked to the assembly hall for morning assembly.